It’s a pretty dull week for movies, let’s be honest. Let’s just say it was either this or discussing our five favorite giant animals. Regardless, in honor of this week’s release of Truth or Dare the Dames decided to play a game as much as one can when you’re spread across the country. We all asked each other anonymous questions with our 5 – or 6 in this case – involving the answers. Who asked which questions? I’ll never tell. I know I’m inserting Gossip Girl in here but I told you it was a weak week for movies.

KRISTEN’S 5

Who was your first celebrity crush?

This is well-documented in my household. When I was five years old I watched My Girl, and in between being completely unprepared for a movie dealing with the death of a child (and best friend, to boot) I was completely mesmerized by Griffin Dunne who plays Vada’s (Anna Chlumsky) teacher. My mother maintains that I’ve modeled my entire life on that movie, right down to being a hypochondriac and English major. I maintain, that movie did lie to me though because I never saw anyone in my English department who rocked elbow patches and fantastic hair like Griffin Dunne did. (He’s patient zero for a lot of my boys – dark hair, good hair, etc.)

Who is your most embarrassing celebrity crush?

I knew better than to say anything about that on the last episode! Okay, none of them are outright embarrassing so much as they’re just really fucking weird. But, the one my friends will say gave them pause was my weird-ass Danny Huston phase back in 2015. Don’t ask me to explain it but I blame the pedigree and the voice.

What’s your favorite Hollywood era and why?

I will say the ’30s and/or ’40s. ’30s era you get the pre-Codes where women were allowed to be saucy and sexually adventurous women. The ’40s had noir as well as my favorite Technicolor movies, 1945’s Leave Her to Heaven and 1948’s The Unfinished Dance.

What “essential” film have you not seen?

I have several, though at least I can officially cross off Citizen Kane! Some of the highlights in the “I can’t believe you’ve never seen that” canon for me include Godfather: Part II, Touch of Evil, and Mulholland Drive (I do have an excuse to watch the latter now).

You can only keep one. The other two cease to exist, as well as their entire filmographies: Armie Hammer, Oscar Isaac, Michael B. Jordan.

Oooh, that’s not cool. Well since I haven’t done a deep dive into his filmography poor Michael B. doesn’t stand a chance. So, I can either choose to live in a world without Call Me By Your Name. Or I can choose to live in a world without Inside Llewyn Davis. Or the dance scene from Ex Machina. Or the guyliner from Sucker Punch. Or whatever the hell that accent is in Robin Hood. Yeah, no, I can’t live without CMBYN. I’M SO SORRY!!

Which film has your favorite representation of disability, and why?

I do go to a couple stand-bys. The 1946 war drama Best Years of Our Lives is a staple, particularly because it has so many little things that are noticeable to a disabled person (the benefit of having real disabled veteran Harold Russell in the role). I also cite Don Mancini’s Cult of Chucky and Curse of Chucky as two of my favorite features because they’re original stories about a woman with disabilities who’s never a wilting flower and is allowed to be sexual.

KAREN’S 5

What’s the one movie Tom Cruise just… isn’t that great in?

I’ve said many times that even in his less awesome movies, Tom Cruise is always committed and always great. Except that…as painful as it is to admit, he wasn’t that great in Jack Reacher: Never Go Back. This movie had “Contractual Obligation” written all over it. It’s the one movie where you can just look at him and see that his heart really isn’t in it. Also not helpful? It’s the one movie where he has the signs of dad bod…

What film is your most favorite, and at the same time the biggest cinematic offender for you having to push your feminism aside.

I LOVE Love, Actually. And yet…Oh, this movie has serious woman problems. You’ve got the cute, completely normal girl that EVERYONE calls fat and she’s totally not. There’s the girl who is terribly mistreated by her new husband’s best friend because he’s actually in love with her. We’ll leave out the Alan Rickman story line because I want to remember him for being lovely, and not for being a terrible person. But there’s the dude who travels to America because he can get any American girl with his British accent, so he finds a bunch of hot models on his first day in the country and it’s gross. But also funny? And then there’s the girl who gives up her chance at love in order to care for her sick brother, but the movie actually kind of makes you hate her a little bit for doing so. But everyone’s so pretty and happy.

The old standby – Marry, Fuck, Kill (and yes, I know this is terrible): James Franco, Casey Affleck, Michael Douglas

Wow. Three real winners here, eh? Okay, here goes. Casey, I hope you left your Oscar to Denzel in your will, cuz bye. So I guess I’d…fuck Franco? If I have to, I mean. But here’s why I pick Michael Douglas to marry. He’s old. Which means he’s most likely going to die the soonest of the three. And he’s got like a bazillion dollars, so at least I’ll get something out of the deal.

What film would be perfect if gender-swapped?

Ghostbusters 2. Make this happen, Paul Feig!

OK, so what’s your absolute favorite Tom Cruise film?

It’s Jerry Maguire. I don’t even have to hesitate. It’s funny and endearing, and self-deprecating, and it has one of the very best romantic (even if maybe not the most feminist) movie lines ever. No, I’m not talking about, “You complete me.” I’m talking about, “You had me at hello.”

If Tom Cruise said he’d marry you today but you’d have to join Scientology, would you?

I’d consider it the perfect opportunity to infiltrate the group from the inside and help him figure out the truth. {winky emoji}

LAUREN’S 5

What is one movie you’re ashamed to admit liking?

You imply that I have shame. Probably You’ve Got Mail. It’s reactionary and capitalistic and a complete reversal of all that is good in The Shop Around the Corner, but I love it. It gets me right in the feels.

Argue for the Jeff Goldblum performance you think deserves an Oscar.

The Grandmaster. How anyone can be that funny/sexy/horrible, all at the same time, just boggles the mind. Give the man an award.

What movie is on your shelf strictly for guilty pleasure viewing?

Mamma Mia! But I’m not guilty about it.

There’s a gun to each of their heads and you have to choose one: Patrick Macnee or Jeff Goldblum?

Patrick. Sorry, Jeff. (How dare you?) Interestingly, they appeared in a film together: Rehearsal for Murder in 1982.

What movie would you say you’ve seen the most out of any other film?

This is a hard one because I tend to rewatch movies over and over again until I can quote them all the way through. It’s a toss-up between Lady and the Tramp, which my parents will tell you I watched continuously for at least a year, and A Hard Day’s Night, which I also probably watched continuously for at least a year.

What is the first film you remember seeing in a theater?

I have a very strong memory of going to see a revival screening of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs when I was a kid. Not sure how old I was or what the occasion was, but I remember being very confused because my mother kept trying to explain that it wasn’t a new movie. I didn’t get the concept behind showing a film in a movie theater that wasn’t new. The Evil Queen also scared the holy bejeezus out of me.

KIMBERLY’S 5

What’s the worst “classic” film you’ve ever seen?

Define worst? There’s terribly made and there’s a film which you just can’t get into. However, since I’ve enjoyed plenty of films of questionable quality, there’s one film  I’ve hated with the fiery passion of a thousand suns… (get ready, film Twitter) The Deer Hunter (1978).

I watched the… classic… film for a project in graduate school and it was one of the most painful viewing experiences I’ve ever had. And I’m not talking “painful, but gets you thinking.” I’m talking “wanting to poke my eyelid with something sharp”. Everything about this movie should work on paper, but there’s a definite disconnect there. Perhaps I’m just not their demographic.

Rank the Jimmi Simpson movies you’ve watched from best to worst.

This is hard. I’m so new into my binge. There’s still sooooo much more viewing to do. He’s made most of his headway in TV so far. Movies are next. Jimmi, when you read this (cause we know you will), I have a great screenplay you’d work really well in… anywhoo…

1.) Westworld (2016): Not giving spoilers but his performance is a cruel one. In fact, this is what started me on the binge. He pulled me in as part of a ship, and his character absolutely hooked me.

2.) Black Mirror (ep 4.1): First of all, Star Trek parody. Secondly, Jimmi is a versatile standout in the hour of television. He manages to both make you laugh and cry during the fairly bleak episode.

3.) Unsolved: The Murders of Tupac and the Notorious B.I.G. (2018): This is currently airing on USA. While the series is only halfway through its run Jimmi is already standing out in his portrayal of the layered (and complicated) Detective Russell Poole.

4.) Hap and Leonard (2016): I’m only on episode two of six. While his character has been in the series painfully little at this point, it’s clear the story is preparing to go to some dark and interesting places.

5.) Date Night (2010): His role in the 2010 comedy shows a young actor beginning to emerge on the scene. While his character doesn’t have much interesting territory to explore (it’s a Steve Carrell comedy, after all) he more than keeps up with the always interesting Common. And he’s flipping adorable to watch.

6.) The Newsroom (2010): I definitely enjoy the Aaron Sorkin HBO series and I enjoyed Simpson’s arc in season three. There’s just one problem: there’s not enough of him. I watched an hour of television to see him deliver one line. On the positive side, he brings his adorableness to create a sweet chemistry with the equally adorable Alison Pill.

What film or films inspired you to get into film criticism?

I’ve always been an armchair film historian. In fact, I’ve discussed my earliest, diaper clad days watching John Wayne. I always knew I had interests in the area. My real entree into film criticism was in an undergrad “Women in Film” class where Gilda (1946) was on the syllabus. The movie proved to be my inspiration for my undergrad honours thesis: Gender in the Films of Glenn Ford: From World War Two to Second Wave Feminism. The movie made me fall in love with gender studies during the post-World War II era, which is still a primary element of my research interests.

Marry, Fuck, Kill: Domnhall Gleeson, Jimmi Simpson, Rupert Evans?

Oh, this is playing with fire. This truly, truly hurts. (Forgive me boys.) It doesn’t mean I love any of you any less. I’m just fickle.

Marry: I was recently mean to my go-to boy Domnhall Gleeson and I need to bounce back with my favourite ginger and “Space Hitler.” How can one man make General Hux so likeable.

Fuck: Jimmi Simpson. He’s my current fixation of the moment and with the layers he brings to his characters it is bound to be a good time.

Kill: This kills me. As I said, I’m fickle. Once Amazon finally puts the third season of The Man in the High Castle (2015) on the air this list would likely shift. Rupert Evans works far, far too little in the United States.

Which is the most cringe-worthy movie crush you’ve ever had?

I’ve had my fair share of weird ones: Richard Widmark, Martin Milner, etc. However, what probably leaps to mind as most cringe-worthy is my first documented movie (or TV) crush. Patrick Duffy as Bobby Ewing (JR’s boring brother in Dallas). This one is cringe worthy for me as it’s probably the most drastically against my usual type. Mainly the outlandish ’70s and ’80s fashion. Give me a 1940s fedora or a (forgive me) contemporary hipster any day. While three-year-old me may have kissed the television when he came on the screen, my tastes have (sadly) matured past this point.

What is the one movie that instantly puts you in a good mood when you’re having a hard day?

There’s a few. Thinking through the likely candidates the first film to jump to mind is A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum (1966). The 1966 Richard Lester musical is definitely one to push aside one’s feminism for; however, it’s just soooo good! The combination of Zero Mostel, Buster Keaton, Phil Silvers and a (pre-everything!) Michael Crawford puts the biggest smile on my face.